Episode 27: Top Ten Tips on Surviving The Office

Here I am, The Vigilante Cannibal Nun, your favourite, Horror and SCI FI agony aunt, and no, I am not on the road to Damascus, nor am I about to chop – hi ja!- Miss Piggy Stylee, someone’s ears off and eat them, bit o soy sauce, ginger, attitude, No NO NO No NO, I am here as your resident Agony Aunt, as I already said, so why not repeat it? I mean, why not? Residing and floating in limbo, having eaten all the colonisers in Ireland during The Great Irish Famine. Was there one that wasn’t so great? Back to the point, I’m a kind of a mythological sin-eating monstrosity, waiting for all the horror letters of woe to pop into my lap, like the pearls the swine ate and pooped out of their BE HIND, HI. Each week, I solve two horror and SCI FI emotional problems, in less than 10 minutes. What more could you want, I ask you? A chronic disease? A mental illness? A bucket of despair? Cancer? Kemo? Keto? A blood thirsty addiction, thin legs? Oh, Christ, YES! If I had thin legs, I’m sure I never would have eaten that priest at the beginning of this crazy journey. I would be happy, and you would know it because they, the legs, would be out on the street, loud and proud and wrapped around every hot man’s head until I sang “Oh Danny Boy” at the top of my voice when hitting the proverbial high notes. But no, I have a big ass, short legs, builder’s shoulders and rigor mortis. Go figure. Because I can’t. Welcome to Episode 27 Top Ten Tips on Surviving the Office.